feeling rejected?

Each of us has experienced rejection—times when, for no apparent reason, another person turned against us or issued some thoughtless comment.

Some of life's most painful rejection comes from childhood experiences. Rejection suffered in the early years often sets the tone for a person's entire life. Whenever a significant other–a parent, grandparent, or someone we hold in esteem—rejects us, feelings of being unloved, unworthy, useless, or insignificant can arise. God never intended for us to struggle with feelings of low self-esteem or rejection. Instead, He wants us to understand that we have value and worth, not because of who we are but because of who we contain—the Lord Jesus Christ.

Learning the correct way to respond to rejection is essential if we are to experience the joy and peace of Jesus Christ.

People struggling with feelings of deep rejection find it hard to imagine how Jesus can love them so easily. But our worth is not based on a human scale. It is based on God's unconditional love.

When you accept His Son's death on the cross as payment for your sins , you become a child of God. You are grafted into His family, and your life has an eternal worth. There is nothing you can do to become more worthy. And there is nothing anyone can say about you that will cancel God's love for you.

Yes, we cannot shield ourselves from rejection but it is only destructive when we internalize it and allow it to creep into our belief system. The devil loves to fuel the fires of low self-esteem with intermittent forms of rejection—a boss you can never please, a parent who only praises straight A's on the report card, or a friend who ignores you, or having people around you who are indifferent.

We cannot avoid rejection because we cannot control the way people feel about us. Some will like us automatically; others may reject us without reason. When we fail to accept ourselves based on what the Word says about us, rejection has an open door to our emotions.

The results are disastrous, a sense of unworthiness, a lack of self-acceptance, and an inability to build healthy relationships. We feel unworthy and likewise think others view us as being unworthy. If left unchecked, rejection will control our attitudes, actions, and even our relationship with God.

Manipulation and a desire to control others are key instruments of a person who feels rejected. Many times when a person rejects you, they want you to perform a certain way. By using rejection, they manipulate you until your actions line up with their desires.

The only way to combat rejection is to gain a strong understanding of your position in Jesus Christ. Your worth and personhood are not determined by those around you. Anytime you base your self-worth on what other people say about you, you set yourself up for possible rejection.

You are a chosen race, a royal priesthood, a holy nation, a people for God's own possession, that you may proclaim the excellencies of Him who has called you out of darkness into His marvelous light; for you once were not a people, but now you are the people of God; you had not received mercy, but now you have received mercy.

The following list is characteristics of a person struggling with feelings of rejection. Rejection is a result of basic human needs not being met. For example, each of us has the basic need to be accepted. As you read through the following list, ask God to show you any traits that may dominate your life.

• Fear of opinions of others
• Perfectionism
• Projecting a false sense of superiority
• Suspicious of anything nice done for you
• Difficulty in trusting God
• Difficulty in trusting others
• Severe depression and thoughts of suicide
• Self verification — seeking proof of self-worth
• Over-emphasis on material values
• Over-emphasis on dress and appearance
• Over-emphasis on the sensual
• Domineering appearance
• Critical spirit
• Self-imposed isolation
• Feelings of inferiority
• Projection of superiority
• Anger

Dealing successfully with rejection requires honesty and a willingness to get to the root of the problem which is a poor view of our self-worth. We can never base our worth as a person on the opinion of others. If we do, we are sure to suffer disappointment and rejection.

Only God, His Word & the Holy Spirit can meet all your needs. He is your sufficiency in every situation. You belong to God through your relationship with Jesus Christ. You hold a valued place in the family of God that no one else can occupy. "God, what is man that you are so mindful of him, that you have crown him with glory & honor, that you made man as the apple of your eye."(Psalm 8)

Jesus knew that after His death there would be long, dark moments of confusion and persecution for His disciples. Therefore, He prepared a way for them to sense His presence forever. They never had to lose their sense of belonging because He sent another comforter to them in the Person of the Holy Spirit who will stay & stick with them.

The word comforter in the New Testament means to come along side another, to offer aid, to be a defense and an advocate. Jesus was this to His disciples. He left them and us with the eternal gift of the Holy Spirit that we might know we are never alone.

God has personally chosen you. Your name is etched in the palms of His hands. He promises to be your strength, your sufficiency, and your redeemer.

We are capable to work, live, and enjoy life because of the power that is ours in Jesus Christ.

Jesus Christ suffered the ultimate form of rejection. He was jeered, spat on, threatened, and finally put to death. His entire life was a sacrificial offering of forgiveness, acceptance, and unconditional love. Yet everywhere He went, He faced rejection. But man's view of Him never altered His focus. It could never damage what He knew to be true: He was eternally one with the heavenly Father, and He knew He was eternally loved. Victory over the world's rejection was His. He did not need the world's approval because He already had the Father's.

You, too, are one with God. The victory is yours the minute you apply the truths of God's Word to your life. You don't need the approval of the world or its favor. All you will ever need has been provided for you through Jesus Christ. You can rest in His sufficiency and be content in knowing that His grace is forever yours.